Remember, back when you used to do a lot of drugs, how lovely the milk was after the Fruit Loops had sat in it for a while? This perfect light pink. Strawberry with a lot of white added.
Lately I've been substituting beet greens for spinach in certain pasta dishes--the ones that take spinach, obviously--and even though they're mostly green, there's still a lot of residual red in the beet greens (is that the right word? greens? shoots? Naaaah, not shoots.). And the color of my spaghetti, dear reader, is as lovely as ... as ... well, I just can't describe it.
But it is uplifting, I can assure you.
Anyway, all of which leads us to this:
This is a still life of tomatoes and beets from which I'm going to derive a painting of Fox Business Network correspondent Rebecca Gomez Diamond. She hosts a show called "Happy Hour" which, really, is virtually unendurable. And that's putting the best possible spin on things.
The name of the painting goes something like: "Study for: 'Numb from the stultifying vapidity of "Happy Hour", Rebecca Gomez relaxes with a glass of red wine '". Not THAT is a name, my friend. A name that will be scrawled across the top of the painting in all its glory.
Here's the canvas as it stands now:
Now the idea is to paint a still life of vegetables laid out in what approximates the shape of a woman reclining, presumably nude. Although I've since moved on from beets and tomatoes to plums and cherries. But that's not really the point.
The point is this: If you scrawl the name of the person you are painting across the top of the painting, you can pretty much depict them anyway you see fit. Including in a completely non-representational way. Like fruit, if you will.
Likewise, and I know you've likely had a hard day and you don't want quite this much art theory right about now, if tell people it's a portrait of, say, Newt Gingrich and people write all over it, then voila!
It becomes one. Even though it's a head of cabbage. On a number of levels.
Is all I'm saying. Just a thought.
Plus, while we're thinking, ever since I smeared all that yellow on the background of Naked Cramer, I've been thinking about backgrounds. That's what that harlequin thing is. Stretched out just beneath it will be the plums. Below that will be a different set of diamonds--each approximately a third the size of the top ones.