'Tis Better...

The great philosopher Nietzsche, perhaps, or Kierkegaard said "'Tis better to have loved and lost than never loved at all."

a) Easy for him to say.
b) Between the two of us, Kierkegaard's a little dark for me. But Nietzsche I find pietzsche.

Anyway, back to the matter at hand. The idea was to emerge from the fromagerie with a big fat wedge of cheese for my boy Pablo. The plan was to pay homage...or fromage (whichever isn't the cheese) to Picasso. Thus my rejiggering of his "Woman with a Wristwatch (1932)."

Always the case with painting, as near as I can tell, is knowing when to stop. This is just one of the ways in which painting is like life itself.

So I should have stopped here:


But instead, I find myself here...
wishing I could go back.



Now, when I say "stopped," I don't really mean stopped, as in finished. Neither painting would be finished at this point. But the earlier version, with the still recognizable checkerboard pattern in the background, felt like it had some air in it.

That's a good thing. Especially when you consider where we are right now. This painting seems to suck all the air from the room. I wonder if it's a painting of my ex-wife. Anyway, I'm pressing ahead, but I'm afraid. I am afraid that I, Manolete, festooned with beads, standing regal, in my suit of lights, am staring down at my satin slippers in the dirt of the bullring and realizing that the red I see staining the ground is not the bull's blood, but mine.